famoustomorrow

jef buckley

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:47:00 GMT

i bought the jeff buckley album with his cover of "i know its over" by the smiths.
fucking bliss.
i could listen to that forever.

in other news
new gw - 55.5
i want:
55 my monday - piece of cake
52.5 by haloween
50 by the 15th of nov
to stustain 50 until december
48 by the 8th

and in even better other news
me and the vegan are spending SO much time together.
hehe.

Writer's Block: The Final Frontier

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:42:45 GMT

Imagine a world without Star Trek. Is it a world you'd be very happy to live in, or a dark and terrible place?

View 501 Answers

star trek is a dark and terrible place that i will never understand!

Writer's Block: I Love Lucy

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:09:40 GMT

I Love Lucy premiered today in 1951, and has been on the air ever since. Although Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s marriage didn’t last off the air, Lucy and Ricky are one of the great couples in television history. Who is your favorite TV couple?

View 500 Answers

will and grace <3

Writer's Block: A.A. Milne

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:55:37 GMT

Some people find Eeyore’s gloomy outlook charming. Others prefer the bouncy enthusiasm of Tigger. Who would you rather be trapped in an elevator with: Eeyore or Tigger?

View 501 Answers

eeyore, anyday.

marry me eeyore

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 07:37:53 GMT

I just found the myspace of a girl I know who OD'd last year.
Still working.
With all these comments saying RIP

Fucking freaky.

i miss her :'(

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:13:48 GMT

I like a boy!

I baked him a vegan cake today.
It was AMAZING!

Hahah
He's such a cutie
With such good taste in music

High on Hunger

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 11:47:23 GMT

So I'm fasting.
This is my first day of successful fasting since my "recovery" in December 07.

It feels amazing.
I have no intention of stopping
I weighed in this evening, and though I know it doesn't really count (I usually only weigh in the mornings) I was 56kgs.
Only one to go till my goal of 55 by Wednesday.
I might just pull it off.

If I do.
I'll reward myself with....
Clothing
Boys
Friends
Fun
And maybe a tiny bit of food, before it's eyes on the prize:
50.
By the 31st.

Do you think I can do it?

XXx

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 02:27:22 GMT

I want a perfect
Body
I want a perfect
Soul
I want you to
Notice

... I wish I was special.

AKA
The most perfect song in the world.
I'm fasting.
I just baked a cake, and some muffins, which I will deliver to my mum's work shortly.
I did 4 sets of 8 minute abs.
I must be 55 on wednesday.
2kgs away.
I must I must I must.

X

FUCKING DINNER TIME

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:20:56 GMT

I always fuck it up at dinner time.

Today was no exception.
I restricted all day and when I got home my fam was eating and so I made a small dinner.
I even had a "I ate at uni" line.
Why?

That takes my total for today from 75 to 300.
NO GOOD.

3kgs in 10 days?
(To stay on track with my SA goals)
It seems do-able.

If only :(

Huge walk in the morning.
Across the city.
I'm gunna walk to uni.
About 15km's

Nothing to eat, what-so-ever.
And then body attack.

And then I'll try not fuck it up at dinner time.

Gah.

Obsession

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 14:51:50 GMT

I am officially obsessed with 50.
I will not rest until I get there.
OBSESSED.

I NEED 50 I will do anything to get there.
If I haven't dropped 2kgs by Sunday, I am doing a 5kg fast.

Things suck in general at the moment.
And that number is all I have.

Night, Night.

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:33:46 GMT

I've decided I'm unbalanced.
I've gone from happy to sad about 60 times today.

It's insane!

Good news:
I booked my flights to South Africa!
I fly on the 8th of December.
Sooo excited!
I finally have something to look forward to!

A set of goals seems necessary:

CW: 58kgs
15th Oct: 55kgs
31st Oct: 52.5kgs
15th Nov: 50kgs (this is a goal i've had for a while)

50kgs has been my goal weight for a while, it is a weight I think I will be comfortable being (maybe..)
If it goes any lower I will be forced back into recovery and that is certainly not what I want.

I know I will gain while I'm away, so I have added a new goal:

8th Dec: 48kgs
(That way I have some room for a few mistakes while I am away)

Well, that't the plan anyway.
I wish I could be bothered to vent some more.
But I cant.

I'll write again later

XX

bad day

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:16:45 GMT

today was meant to be 800

it was more like 8000000000

okay 1170 to be exact

i feel foul

and also so tired
so so tired i this new routine is freaking my body out
i've been napping like a nana

haha

i'm also torn between this (my new) web journal
and my journal journal
my journal journal is feeling abandoned!

in the last few days:

i have stopped loosing.
i have GAINED weight.
i have been considering fasting/detoxing...

although i really want to see this 2468 thing through till i am 50

although i'm 8 (impossible) kg's away from that.

*bugger*

oh well.
time for a good sleep.

new-week's-resolution:
catch more public transport

public transport is "inconvenient"
because you have to walk

walking burns ass
and doesn't burn petrol
therefore i will be skinny and rich
good plan?

tomorrow is 200
it is going to be so easy because my body will still be dealing with today's pile
maybe ill do 200 the day after that too
and then go straight to 600?

mmm

in other news
i hate the people i work with.
i have been abandoned by my best friend (for the 3rd consecutive weekend)
im on holidays now
no uni
not that i actually attend uni very much these days :P

anyway
i will sign off now
and have another bitch in the morning.

xx
FAMOUS.

inner beauty...

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 10:29:46 GMT

...is for fat people.

well it made me laugh

On a random note:

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 12:27:28 GMT

I think braids are pretty.

I want to learn this one:

I'll post a pic of mine when it's done :D

While I'm busy posting pics, I suppose I should put one of my foul body up here....
They are all printed out and stuck in my diary, and are great to look at if I get hungry...
Which is hardly ever these days..
Anyway, this picture I took last week, weight is about 58kgs:

Goal weight is 50kgs and is seeming like quite a distant goal at the moment...
No change today, but I'm sure going from 800 tomo to 200 the next day will have some effect.

I'll keep you posted.

In other news,
800 calories seems like a hell of a lot. It was hard to do 600 today, and I'm gunna be working the whole day tomo... 10am till 6.30pm.
I think I'll stick to fruit and veg.
Maybe some toast in the morning.
My dad is in the states,
And my mum and bro are going to byron bay for 4 days, so there won't be any tricky "I've already eaten" situations which will be nice.

I did body attack tonight.
It is amazing.
I walked there, so I think I must have burnt about 700 cals all up and I made the hungry girl sweet potato chips for dinner...

All is well.
I deserve a good night sleep.
Might put on a bit of the harry potter audiobook (<3)
And just relax.

New music playing at the moment: Noah and the Whale (really loving it!)

Kill Her.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 02:30:01 GMT

So I was at work the other day.

K. is an 18 year old work mate of mine who has recently had lap band surgery. Apparently, she "tried everything" and the surgery was her only option, to me it looks like she weighs between 100 and 120kgs.

Anyway, so me and another work mate (who has recently told me she suffers from bulimia) were talking generally about calories and diets and weight loss etc and K. gets out a LARGE bag of salt and vinegar chips and begins to consume them very quickly...

K starts explaining how much she loves food.
And how she so wants to lose weight, but just cant.
And that last night she ate an entire bag of bread for dinner..
(I thought a LAP BAND was supposed to make you feel full quicker, but apparently not.)

She asks me what I'd eaten that day.
It was a 200 cal day.
So it wasn't alot...
Like a cup of coffee
And a banana.

She then has the audacity to claim that she would love to be anorexic.
And explain how much she wants to be thin... And wonder how much better her life would be if she was skinny.

ALL THE WHILE, munching on THOUSANDS of cals worth of CHIPS.

She's like "how do I get skinny like you"
And I'm like: "dont eat" and I look at the chips.

And she simply could not get her little head around it.

Fool.

PS.
She doesn't know that I have an ED
No one does... my work friends think I have recovered.
And these days I'm fat so no one suspects anything.

CW:
Still 56. Maybe even 56.5
FUCK.

300 cals so far. It is a 600 day, but I think I'll leave it there...
Just have to think of somewhere to "be" at dinner time...

mmm

I'll let you know.

Love this journal!

xx

Can I tell you that you are the purple in me?

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:59:08 GMT

Can I call you just to hear you, would you care?
When I saw you put your purple finger on me
There's a feelin' in your bottle
Found your bottle, found your heart
Gives a feeling from your bottled little part

Hey
Oooooo

Gotta crush high
Thought I crushed all I could
Crushed all I can then I touched your hand
Crush high
Dont want it to stop
Cause stories of your brother make my crush high pop
And you couldnt really know cause its in my toes
And sometimes i wonder whered that crush high go
Crush high then i go and take some pills
Cause i cant do all of my dos and still feel ill
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo
You get that whooooooo

What an amazing song.
The Animal Collective.

Just what I needed today...

Sushi was good.
Apparently I look thinner.
And I suppose I would, seeing as I have lost about 10kgs since I last saw this guy.
I know I'm thinner.
But my arms are still the devil, and my thighs ALMOST TOUCH.

They will be gone.
15 Nov.

I wasn't even hungry today.
I cant believe I'm not hungry.
Because I 'm eating less than a quarter of what my body has gotten used to over the last year.
Even my sub-conscious knows I can live off my ass for a while yet.
Hehe.

Oh well.
Time to tidy this bedroom.
CW: 57kgs (56 before dinner)

xx

SO SO TIRED!

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:30:59 GMT

Ugh.

Went out last night.
And I had to be at work at 7am this morning.
It wasn't even worth it.
Awful night.

So tired.

Today is 400.
I'm going out for sushi tonight...
So nothing till then.

I'm not even hungry though, just need to sleep!

Good Night!

Oh, and in other crap news.
I was supposed to be going overseas with my best friend over xmas
and her parents have changed their minds and say she cant go.
So my holiday has been called off.
Fuck.

Feel monster-sized today!

Ewwwwwww.

My Favourite Things

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 03:29:47 GMT

It is a beautiful day.
I weigh 56kgs.
Excellent.
I have Eaten 100 cals and will have some Vods tonight..
55 per shot! Fuckerrrr
I also did a body attack class at the gym this morning
and then went shopping.
My body feels electric.

I taped a live Radiohead set off the radio this morning, and I'm listening to it now.
Beautiful.
I am also watching Skins.

I love.
No.
I am.
Cassie.

Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
"I didn't eat for three days so I could be lovely"

"These are a few of my favourite things"

XfamousX

Wow

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 16:08:08 GMT

Loving this journal.
I've always had one, now it's electronic!

Bravo...
Journal Whore tonight.
2nd entry!

Umm... The reason I am on LJ is because I found the pro_ana community, and I think it is amazing.

So, I had recovered. Yep. Ha. Beat that.
Apart from the fact that I utterly despised my body. I had recovered.
I have been eating for 9 months. That is to say, I have been steadily expanding for 9 months.
I had gone from a lovely size 6 to a lesslovely size 10... a combintion of excellent friends, a trip to europe, and several opperations, somehow left me with the idea that stuffing my flabby face was a good idea.... Ummmm?? Can't say it lasted.

On The 1st of September I made the decision to get down to a reasonable weight: an attractive, non flabby 60kgs. Since then, through a combination of lots of vegies and plenty of exercise, I have lost 8kgs. And easily reached my initial GW.

When I started, I said to myself, "sure you'll be able to stop, you're strong now." Yeah, I'm strong. Strong enough to loose 8kgs very easily (admitedly they were VERY extra kgs) but surely, if i can do that, I am strong enough to keep going?

So me and Miss Ana are friends again. This time, I will not let it get out of control. I want a 50kg body. And I want to maintain it for a year after that, I reckon I'll be so used to it that I can stay that way for ever! The other day, it suddenly occurred to me to look up one of these pro-ana sites (they have had some very bad media attention ) and hey presto, I'm addicted. I think the support is excellent - having people to tell you you are not crazy is just what we need. So here I am!

But for now,
My Stats are:
174 cm tall
HW (ever) 68kgs
HW (lately) 59kgs
CW 57kgs
LW 45kgs
Goal: 50kgs by the 15th November 2008, maintained until the 15th Nov 2009. That is a BMI of 16.5.

I am doing 2468. It works.
It is fucking amazing.
Today is an 8.
Tomorrow is a 2.
Excellent.
I love that even though today's food felt like heaps, I still lost a kilo (not water!)

Today included:
Poached egg on rye
Tuna salad
Coffee
Banana

Tomorrow will include:
Coffee
Tin of Tuna
Vods

It is now bed time.
Doing 1.5 hours of body attack in the morning.
CAN NOT WAIT!

xx

I Once Knew a Girl...

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:24:23 GMT

...In the years of my youth,
With eyes like the summer,
All beauty and truth.
In the morning I fled,
I left a note and it read:
Some day,
You will
Be
Loved

(I am the girl.
And one day...
I just left. )